A little bit different...

Everything here is a little bit different.

Not that it is a bad thing, it is just different. Some different I like, some different I am indifferent toward, some different I tolerate, and, unlike some, none of what is different do I abhor. Something about me being "the most unpicky person possible" or something like that. It's definitely interesting coming to a new place. It always is and always will be no matter where my size 12's take me. But it's really interesting in a setting like this.

First things first, I love it here. Maybe I say that too quickly or too loosely, but in reality, typing it now is the first time I have thought it. That's strange... It's funny, I am a friendly guy I suppose, but I have never been one to jump into a new situation or new life and make friends at light speed. I am slow. -- whoops, that didn't sound right, err... moving on. -- But in all seriousness, I really am slower than I prefer at being 100% me in a new place. I like the people here, I like my roommate, I like the other two guys in my wing. They're great actually. It's good stuff. But for some reason I am just not really good at opening up.

Perhaps it is the fact that roughly 80% of the people here go to school together and know each other. Heck, half of the Master's college guys soccer team is here. (On that note, the more I am around soccer players, the more I realize I am just not that guy. I have absolutely nothing against them, I like them for sure, it's just that I know that I am not a kid who grew up in the metro leagues hoping to be the next great white soccer player. They're cool, I'm just different remember?) Darnit... now I lost my train of thought... I will get it back, hang on... oh yes, being me:
I think what is most interesting (maybe even challenging, though that might overstate it a bit) is that I am starting over completely. It's all new friends, all new places, new food etc. Great experience for sure, it's not like I enjoy life without a change every now and then. In fact, compared to most people's opinions of change, I'm a change junkie. I like it. Not always. Not in huge ways necessarily. But I like new things, I like variety, I like unexpected things every once in a while. What I wonder about myself now is if I am changing and accidentally leaving myself behind. I'm sure it sounds strange, it does to me. Now lets not get all wild and think, "Oh No! Eli's having an identity crisis after only 5 days!" But thinking about it I am sure that sometimes I change in ways I don't even realize and then wonder where my Self has gone. He sure does run fast, sometimes I get lapped by him. (Where was he when I ran track anyway?)

Let me tell you something I heard from a reliable source about Eli having a 1/4 life crisis. He's not. He's fine. There, now you have it from a reliable source. Anyway, I should explain something first: I have done a lot of thinking in the last 6-8 months (and, unfortunately, occasional amounts of overthinking). The Lord has put a lot on my mind and I really think that He has opened up a lot of perspective about things, often leading to some pretty cool insights. Consequently, I think more and say less most of the time. Now is such a time. With so many powerful things and new experiences, I think. I think a lot. Yesterday and/or today there have been at least 5 times where I have thought of something in a totally different light. I think a good way to say it is that I am more often a Ponderer.

But I don't always like it.

I like to think. I like to think decisions through. I like to consider. I like to think and share thoughts and gain wisdom. I even like to imagine sometimes :) But I don't like that I am a pseudo-hermit. Even in a group of people. I have mentioned this to some of you, one of my thoughts/goals for this semester is to be more bold. To just try something. To just say something. To dive right in and be me. Thus far my success rate is not so high. Not that I have failed, but I have not triumphed either. So I think to myself, "Self, what is it you are doing?" And my Self says, "Trying to get you to stop thinking and enjoy life, and life much better than it is now." (I didn't feel right quoting Jesus when it was my Self talking about a slightly different subject, so I paraphrased :)

All that to say. Life in Israel is a little bit different. The rooms are colder (Jordi, I think You would hate that part). The food is different - and when I say that I really mean it's the same pretty much all the time, but it's different from what I'm used to. The people are different. The language is different (though fortunately not in the classroom). Life is different. But I love it. Overthinking, as you have now perceived me doing, is just no fun. Not when there is so much to do and see and experience and learn. I'm done with that. I am done with this being different in a pondering sort of way. I'm done with this overthinking business. Heck, I might even go crazy and be done with this nerd thing, though I won't go to that extreme just yet, let us not be too hasty during this evening of resolutions. I'm also done with this post, which is, in a very non-different way, very long. Again. Sheesh.

I think I will only do the minimum of my homework tonight and go play games in the bomb shelter at 9.

It's time for something a little bit different.